Hi
Been wanting to write this for at least a year now, maybe longer, mostly just to get things out of my head.
Struggled with a few things about writing it.
Why do I want to write it?
What am I hoping to get out of it?
How can I write this in such a way, I get across what I'm trying too?
Who am I actually writing it for?
How can I make it not sound sad ?
Putting all those aside slightly I'll just blaze ahead, who knows where it'll end up, how long it will be or whether any of the above points will be covered.
Is weird just wired differently, same letters but not the same thing.
Most, we'll all of my life Ive done things slightly differently from others and others have done things differently from me, obviously.
A lot of incidents and reactions I have had, have on numerous occasions rexulted in people calling me weird, or similar words.
For years I just laughed at this as it was generally said in a fun way, with no malice intended.
However, over maybe the last ten or so years I've been looking into my behaviours, trying to explain them, mostly to myself as I have no idea how to explain it to someone else.
As with anyone, I presume, most of my behaviour is normal, if there is a normal, i can intract with life an people etc mostly
Then there are the parts I can't explain, well until maybe now
I'm going to write a list of things I either do and don't understand why or things I do I 'get'
In no particular order, except as they come into my head.
1. My brain never switched off, were stories, plans, projects etc. It's a constant, which can lead to me always interrupting people, not being able to pay a lot of attention. Which has probably annoyed every person I know at some point. No one will realise how hard I work on this and how good I am at not interrupting even more than I do. Whether this is something like ADHD or I just like talking who knows. I'd like to not do it though, how I go about this I'm not sure.
2. I have a definite lack of interest/empathy with people's life's. . I don't like talking about what I did today, what I do for a living, what you do for a living, small talk. One of the reasons I got into PTing and fitness was actually to try and make me better at this, put me in 1:1 situations
Not sure I've ever told anyone that before ?
P.s it didn't really work as my clients will tell you
3. I struggle spending time with people for long periods of time. This can be after a couple of hours or a couple of days and not necessarily just in 1:1 situations.
The best way to explain how I feel is this - it's like claustrophobia, I need to get away, I need air
And I know it's nothing to do with the person or the company it's in my head, but how can you explain that to someone, especially a girlfriend
4. No3 is probably the biggest reason for mr drifting away from friends, girlfriends etc I have maybe 4 friends I've known for over 10 years I still have contact with. I even struggle to phone contact family and struggle to speak to my mum, my mum!, for more than 30minutes, the claustrophobia kicks in
5. I've never been on holiday, just 2 of us, or lived with a partner. How I would cope with that I'm not sure
6. I find myself avoiding situations where I might end up ' having to' leave, the easy option
I don't and haven't tried to get into a relationship for years as I don't know why or how I could put someone through what I live with.
7. I am way better at dealing with things than I used to be, I can feel things building up, pause myself, think and react better, but still I get a lot of flack for lack of sympathy emotions, seriousness etc. You can't feel what you don't feel.
8. I love the fact I make myself and others laugh everyday
9. I generally always look for win win situations rather than what's in it for me
10. I like spending time on my own but hate being lonely
11. If I want to spend time with you, I'll probably ask you 30minutes before, to do something all day, which funnily enough doesn't work out too often, people and plans eh 😀 Then at the end of the day I'll be glad to see you home
12. I don't react well to change, tell me we're doing something or you want me to do something and then change, my wee brain doesn't compute that
13. I love a project, planning, obtaining material, researching, doing, done. Then as soon as it's done I have little feeling about it ?!?
14. I'm think I'm a creature of habit, but I change my habits a lot
15. I struggle with empathy, even though people think I'm good with it, its not fake, I get it, I just don't feel it
16. People always ask me, why re you never serious, give a serious answer, the real reason is, I don't know think many things are serious (apart from some obvious ones) I have no concept of 'things' I like things, but if I lose them for whatever reason they are gone, things people (except for maybe 1) once they're gone they're gone.
17. I've no idea of the point of this list
18. I'm sorry to anyone who I have lost or in their eyes mistreated through these brain fucks I go through
This probably reads quite sad, but it is t meant to, not even sure if all of the above are facts or stories I tell myself, another project I'm working on, are my stories true.
Am I as normal as everyone or am I actually different, I've thought Asperger's, slight autism,maybe, not looking for excuses, some of my behaviour is just normal crap behaviour, but if I can understand it better, I can explain it better, if that makes sense.
As much as I lack real empathy, I will be shown more ?? Who knows
Thats it I think
P.S Writing this hasn't cleared my head as much as I'd hoped, but its done now
P.P.S I'm OK, not going through a bad day,or time, this is my every day :-)
Monday, November 27, 2017
Sunday, August 21, 2016
Tokyo 2020 - your gold medal
Where were you in 2012, where are you now ? How far have you moved forward in your life plans in the last 4 years ? Where do you want to be in 2020, how far do you want to move forward in the next 4 years ?
Strange question ? Well ask most of the amazing Olympians that has just completed the Rio olympics and hey can probably answer all those questions.
It is definitely one of the main (there have been many during the games) recurring themes that came out of watching the olympics over the last 3 weeks.
To these athletes, competitors, Olympians whatever you prefer to call them, setting a target 4 years away is a normal thing. It's not a quick 4 week, 28 day, 6 minute a day temporary fix.
It's a set date, it's a specific target, yes it is a fucking huge target, that most of us mere mortals can only sit back, watch and admire their skills.
Whether they just missed out on the games, just missed out on a medal, got a bronze or a silver they will ( unless retiring) be looking at progressing at least one place higher, if not that very shiny bright gold medal spot. They know what they did to get as far as they have. They also definitely know they will have to go faster, harder, longer over the the next 4 years to achieve that goal.
Even the gold medalists, even the multiple gold medalists, they know, doing what got them those golds, will probably not be enough to get them gold in Tokyo 2020, those looking up at them, will be better in 4 years, which obviously means the champions of 2016 will need to be better to keep a hold of the title.
So, what has all this got to do with us mere mortals ?
Well, it has definitely made me aware of how short I make my goals, 1 week, a month, 3 months max probably.
Why, don't we make bigger goals, longer term ones ?
"In 4 years I will be .........................." Insert answer of your choice
Make it your Olympics aim for your personal gold medal target.
Granted it seems forever away, but just think, especially UK, London based people, where you were in 2012 and how quickly 2016 has come round, again I ask you, are you as far ahead in your life goals as you thought you would be ?
If yes, awesome, I hope you still keep moving onward over the next 4 years.
If you're either still doing near enough the same things, living the same life, doing the job that pays the bills and that's about the highlight of it, or like me, you feel as though you may even of went backwards a little ( sometimes that's ok, before you go forward) .
What are you going to do different in the next 4 years?
What are you willing to do ?
What do you need to do ?
Well, firstly you need to figure out what and where you like to be, what you feel needs improving most, find that GOLD MEDAL TARGET (or be like Mo or Usain, have more than 1)
4 years, you can do almost anything, university or college courses, how many books or your chosen subject could you read, how many experts, coaches, mentors could you find, work with, learn from, become one, if not, the best in your chosen field. The person people come to see, to get where you are.
How much weight could you lose ? 1lb a month = 48lbs = nearly 4 stone, 1/2 lb a week = 96lbs = 6 1/2 stone !
1/2 lb a week, now that is definitely a very doable target !
In the gym, put 0.25kg on a lift every week, that's nearly 50kg heavier, again not an unrealistic goal, when broken down into smaller targets.
If you can run 1km now, before getting out of breath, add less than 1km a month (250metres a week) and you'll be running a marathon.
Learn a sport, learn a language, learn a new skill, take up that 'thing' you've always wanted to (no you're not too old to start), travel to that country you've always dreamed of, go to Tokyo for the olympics ! Do all of the above.
This may seen a very long time to be working on/toward something, possibly, then again how are all the quick fixes working out for you ?
That is what you need to ask ?
To get something you never had, you need to do something you never did.
What is going to stop you ? The same thing that will stop those Olympians - nothing, well nothing that you are in control of, yes there maybe set backs, injuries, life, illness etc but if you set the correct goal, you know the one, the one that is always in your thoughts, bouncing about in your head, the one you keep putting back in that box, yeah that's the one. You will get back on course, you will reach that goal.
Decide, now is your time to start, 2020 will be here, very quickly and you will be where you hoped, dreamed, needed, wanted to be, trust me, more importantly trust in yourself.
Find a quiet spot, sit or lie down, visualise yourself in 4 years, the olympics are on. Where are you watching them, what are you doing, what do you look like, how do you feel, how does your life feel ? Amazing right, are you smiling now, just having a second thinking about it.
Imagine how much brighter, happier, how bigger your smile will be when you actually take real time to think, create this vision.
Then realise how utterly amazing this will feel when you actually reach your goals !
Pretty awesome eh ?
This is something I am definitely going to do, find that big massive huge goal/s and fully immerse myself in getting there. Break it Disney, set smaller targets, places I need to be, to get to that final place.
Like a train journey, going through each station, stopping at some, flying last others, all on the same track with the same destination.
Create your journey, do it this week, then plan your journey, get to the first station, get on your train.
I will post this every year, as a reminder to myself and to you.
Don't be the one thinking, fuck is that 4 years already since I read this, I should've started
Strange question ? Well ask most of the amazing Olympians that has just completed the Rio olympics and hey can probably answer all those questions.
It is definitely one of the main (there have been many during the games) recurring themes that came out of watching the olympics over the last 3 weeks.
To these athletes, competitors, Olympians whatever you prefer to call them, setting a target 4 years away is a normal thing. It's not a quick 4 week, 28 day, 6 minute a day temporary fix.
It's a set date, it's a specific target, yes it is a fucking huge target, that most of us mere mortals can only sit back, watch and admire their skills.
Whether they just missed out on the games, just missed out on a medal, got a bronze or a silver they will ( unless retiring) be looking at progressing at least one place higher, if not that very shiny bright gold medal spot. They know what they did to get as far as they have. They also definitely know they will have to go faster, harder, longer over the the next 4 years to achieve that goal.
Even the gold medalists, even the multiple gold medalists, they know, doing what got them those golds, will probably not be enough to get them gold in Tokyo 2020, those looking up at them, will be better in 4 years, which obviously means the champions of 2016 will need to be better to keep a hold of the title.
So, what has all this got to do with us mere mortals ?
Well, it has definitely made me aware of how short I make my goals, 1 week, a month, 3 months max probably.
Why, don't we make bigger goals, longer term ones ?
"In 4 years I will be .........................." Insert answer of your choice
Make it your Olympics aim for your personal gold medal target.
Granted it seems forever away, but just think, especially UK, London based people, where you were in 2012 and how quickly 2016 has come round, again I ask you, are you as far ahead in your life goals as you thought you would be ?
If yes, awesome, I hope you still keep moving onward over the next 4 years.
If you're either still doing near enough the same things, living the same life, doing the job that pays the bills and that's about the highlight of it, or like me, you feel as though you may even of went backwards a little ( sometimes that's ok, before you go forward) .
What are you going to do different in the next 4 years?
What are you willing to do ?
What do you need to do ?
Well, firstly you need to figure out what and where you like to be, what you feel needs improving most, find that GOLD MEDAL TARGET (or be like Mo or Usain, have more than 1)
4 years, you can do almost anything, university or college courses, how many books or your chosen subject could you read, how many experts, coaches, mentors could you find, work with, learn from, become one, if not, the best in your chosen field. The person people come to see, to get where you are.
How much weight could you lose ? 1lb a month = 48lbs = nearly 4 stone, 1/2 lb a week = 96lbs = 6 1/2 stone !
1/2 lb a week, now that is definitely a very doable target !
In the gym, put 0.25kg on a lift every week, that's nearly 50kg heavier, again not an unrealistic goal, when broken down into smaller targets.
If you can run 1km now, before getting out of breath, add less than 1km a month (250metres a week) and you'll be running a marathon.
Learn a sport, learn a language, learn a new skill, take up that 'thing' you've always wanted to (no you're not too old to start), travel to that country you've always dreamed of, go to Tokyo for the olympics ! Do all of the above.
This may seen a very long time to be working on/toward something, possibly, then again how are all the quick fixes working out for you ?
That is what you need to ask ?
To get something you never had, you need to do something you never did.
What is going to stop you ? The same thing that will stop those Olympians - nothing, well nothing that you are in control of, yes there maybe set backs, injuries, life, illness etc but if you set the correct goal, you know the one, the one that is always in your thoughts, bouncing about in your head, the one you keep putting back in that box, yeah that's the one. You will get back on course, you will reach that goal.
Decide, now is your time to start, 2020 will be here, very quickly and you will be where you hoped, dreamed, needed, wanted to be, trust me, more importantly trust in yourself.
Find a quiet spot, sit or lie down, visualise yourself in 4 years, the olympics are on. Where are you watching them, what are you doing, what do you look like, how do you feel, how does your life feel ? Amazing right, are you smiling now, just having a second thinking about it.
Imagine how much brighter, happier, how bigger your smile will be when you actually take real time to think, create this vision.
Then realise how utterly amazing this will feel when you actually reach your goals !
Pretty awesome eh ?
This is something I am definitely going to do, find that big massive huge goal/s and fully immerse myself in getting there. Break it Disney, set smaller targets, places I need to be, to get to that final place.
Like a train journey, going through each station, stopping at some, flying last others, all on the same track with the same destination.
Create your journey, do it this week, then plan your journey, get to the first station, get on your train.
I will post this every year, as a reminder to myself and to you.
Don't be the one thinking, fuck is that 4 years already since I read this, I should've started
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Its just a blog post
Hey All
Been writing and rewriting this post ( more of a ramble)for a month or so now.
Never seems to come out the way I hope, but then realised I was over thinking it and as long as I write what I want to say, it doesn't matter if someone reads it, or takes it in a different way, if you're not sure ask me ha ha
The main idea of this, is basically an easy, selfish way for me to get things out of my head.
I always feel writing things down, takes them out of my head and puts them elsewhere, even while typing, solutions, for seemed like unpassable problems become clear.
So, I guess the main thing that inspired me to do another post, was people have been asking me if I'm OK, is everything alright ? Mainly due to my lack of social network posts and banter.
(Thanks to those that asked)
Lets start at the beginning, well the beginning of this chapter in my life.
A few months ago, I took the decision to stop hiding from a issue in my life, I had fallen way behind in my mortgage, a few times over last few years, some of which was self inflicted, some due to life circumstances, so I had paid a bit, forgot a bit, hid a bit, borrowed a bit, hid some more, anything really, while waiting for some miracle to appear. Funnily enough, no miracle appeared.
This is when, I decided to just take care of the problem, I phoned the mortgage company and set up a direct debit for six months, paying double mortgage, even though this would leave me properly skint every month, not just normal skint, like most people, but proper skint, every penny had to go on food, gas, electricity, something essential. That was it, no grey areas, no room for manoeuvre, simple as that.
Which to some people would be horrendous, to me, once I had made my mind up, it was, what it was. just get on with it.
So for the last 5 months, I have basically, went to work, trained, luckily I can train at work, went home.
Which, is obviously not great, but to be fair not as bad as it could've been.
I realise a lot of peoples life's were worse than mine, but that doesn't make mine easier and a lot of people were better off than me, but that didn't make my life worse.
Looking back now, I realise I became more of a recluse than I needed to, when people asked if I wanted to go for a few drinks, the cinema, dinner etc, I always refused, simply because I couldn't afford to do anything, where I probably could've arranged something free to do, so still spending time with friends.
During this time, I also took the facebook app off my phone, I realised I spent a lot of time just looking through facebook, for no real reason. I was still on facebook, it just made it more awkward to get on, which is easily, one of the best things I have done.
On of the other reasons, was to help myself learn more about mindfulness (a bit of a buzz word at the moment) letting myself be more in the now, rather than the constant noise in my head, that constant planning, thinking, overthinking, that goes on.
I even, luckily enough attended a well being and mindfulness course (more on that in another post)
During this absence, I had a few friends ask if I was ok, some who know me better, know I go through spells of absence, usually when I am trying to work through things, or when my wee mini black dog appears. I even had some people unfriend me ?
I did find it amazing the different reactions, people have to my situation, some people I thought were friends, dumped me, some people who I saw as acquaintances, stood up and helped, or offered great help/advice/assistance. Guess the old saying, 'you find out who your friends are, in times of trouble' is true.
Some had the, 'just come out, its only a few drinks/dinner etc' when ever penny counts, even a few drinks, is equal to a couple of dinners.
Good things have came out of it, I realise how much money I was wasting on unnecessary things, those cheeky wee coffees, magazines, noticing how much you can save, by buying from different shops etc.
I now, have one more double payment to go, its been an 'interesting' six months, learned a lot, about a lot, some of which I had expected, some totally surprised me, both good and bad.
I take a lot of the good things into 2016, I leave the bad behind (hopefully)
I will be using some of the extra money I will have, this is the way I'm looking at not paying double mortgage, to invest in myself, my life, my future. I, luckily know a lot of people who help others improve all aspects of their life, I will, finally, be putting my money where my mouth is and investing in myself.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you.
Guess that's that ramble over and out of my head ha ha
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas a joyous New Year, spent with those that matter
Bye For Now
Craig
P.S Sorry it's a bit all over the place, (like the writer) its been edited a few times
Been writing and rewriting this post ( more of a ramble)for a month or so now.
Never seems to come out the way I hope, but then realised I was over thinking it and as long as I write what I want to say, it doesn't matter if someone reads it, or takes it in a different way, if you're not sure ask me ha ha
The main idea of this, is basically an easy, selfish way for me to get things out of my head.
I always feel writing things down, takes them out of my head and puts them elsewhere, even while typing, solutions, for seemed like unpassable problems become clear.
So, I guess the main thing that inspired me to do another post, was people have been asking me if I'm OK, is everything alright ? Mainly due to my lack of social network posts and banter.
(Thanks to those that asked)
Lets start at the beginning, well the beginning of this chapter in my life.
A few months ago, I took the decision to stop hiding from a issue in my life, I had fallen way behind in my mortgage, a few times over last few years, some of which was self inflicted, some due to life circumstances, so I had paid a bit, forgot a bit, hid a bit, borrowed a bit, hid some more, anything really, while waiting for some miracle to appear. Funnily enough, no miracle appeared.
This is when, I decided to just take care of the problem, I phoned the mortgage company and set up a direct debit for six months, paying double mortgage, even though this would leave me properly skint every month, not just normal skint, like most people, but proper skint, every penny had to go on food, gas, electricity, something essential. That was it, no grey areas, no room for manoeuvre, simple as that.
Which to some people would be horrendous, to me, once I had made my mind up, it was, what it was. just get on with it.
So for the last 5 months, I have basically, went to work, trained, luckily I can train at work, went home.
Which, is obviously not great, but to be fair not as bad as it could've been.
I realise a lot of peoples life's were worse than mine, but that doesn't make mine easier and a lot of people were better off than me, but that didn't make my life worse.
Looking back now, I realise I became more of a recluse than I needed to, when people asked if I wanted to go for a few drinks, the cinema, dinner etc, I always refused, simply because I couldn't afford to do anything, where I probably could've arranged something free to do, so still spending time with friends.
During this time, I also took the facebook app off my phone, I realised I spent a lot of time just looking through facebook, for no real reason. I was still on facebook, it just made it more awkward to get on, which is easily, one of the best things I have done.
On of the other reasons, was to help myself learn more about mindfulness (a bit of a buzz word at the moment) letting myself be more in the now, rather than the constant noise in my head, that constant planning, thinking, overthinking, that goes on.
I even, luckily enough attended a well being and mindfulness course (more on that in another post)
During this absence, I had a few friends ask if I was ok, some who know me better, know I go through spells of absence, usually when I am trying to work through things, or when my wee mini black dog appears. I even had some people unfriend me ?
I did find it amazing the different reactions, people have to my situation, some people I thought were friends, dumped me, some people who I saw as acquaintances, stood up and helped, or offered great help/advice/assistance. Guess the old saying, 'you find out who your friends are, in times of trouble' is true.
Some had the, 'just come out, its only a few drinks/dinner etc' when ever penny counts, even a few drinks, is equal to a couple of dinners.
Good things have came out of it, I realise how much money I was wasting on unnecessary things, those cheeky wee coffees, magazines, noticing how much you can save, by buying from different shops etc.
I now, have one more double payment to go, its been an 'interesting' six months, learned a lot, about a lot, some of which I had expected, some totally surprised me, both good and bad.
I take a lot of the good things into 2016, I leave the bad behind (hopefully)
I will be using some of the extra money I will have, this is the way I'm looking at not paying double mortgage, to invest in myself, my life, my future. I, luckily know a lot of people who help others improve all aspects of their life, I will, finally, be putting my money where my mouth is and investing in myself.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you.
Guess that's that ramble over and out of my head ha ha
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas a joyous New Year, spent with those that matter
Bye For Now
Craig
P.S Sorry it's a bit all over the place, (like the writer) its been edited a few times
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Sometimes Three Words
Hello
Not really sure, as with a lot of things, where this came from ?
Hope you enjoy
Sometimes Three Words
Sometimes three words
Can replace fifty
Written or said
But always true
Easy to hear
Hard to say
Live without fear
Today's the day
Can I help
I am here
It'll be OK
Believe in yourself
I love you
I really do
We can be
You, me, us
Find your purpose
Live your dream
Seek it out
Be your why
It will happen
Thats for sure
Just let go
Your inner fear
Free Thinking Renegades
Ignore the rules
Inspire the extraordinary
My third place
Serve with passion
Live with love
Succes is simple
With belief onboard
Grasp the moment
Live it now
The universe gives
To open hearts
Release the demons
Welcome the guides
Friends and foes
See both sides
Read the signs
With open eyes
With loving ears
Listen for cries
Always do right
Life'll give back
Give and receive
Stay on track
Only three words
Speak or sing
Those three words
Could mean everything
Craig Lowe
Not really sure, as with a lot of things, where this came from ?
Hope you enjoy
Sometimes Three Words
Sometimes three words
Can replace fifty
Written or said
But always true
Easy to hear
Hard to say
Live without fear
Today's the day
Can I help
I am here
It'll be OK
Believe in yourself
I love you
I really do
We can be
You, me, us
Find your purpose
Live your dream
Seek it out
Be your why
It will happen
Thats for sure
Just let go
Your inner fear
Free Thinking Renegades
Ignore the rules
Inspire the extraordinary
My third place
Serve with passion
Live with love
Succes is simple
With belief onboard
Grasp the moment
Live it now
The universe gives
To open hearts
Release the demons
Welcome the guides
Friends and foes
See both sides
Read the signs
With open eyes
With loving ears
Listen for cries
Always do right
Life'll give back
Give and receive
Stay on track
Only three words
Speak or sing
Those three words
Could mean everything
Craig Lowe
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Changing me, to suit you ??
Hello again and Happy Easter
As you may or may not know, over the last few months, I have been on the start of a journey, to, hopefully, find my 'purpose' in life. Or at the very least, becoming a better, improved version of the old me.
This is working well so far and I'm already seeing the benefits of my new mindset, plus the rewards of treating other people in a more positive way.
This has led, to me being more aware of how I am in other peoples company, but also how people behave in my company.
Now, if you don't know me, I'll explain a little about my character.
I do tend to be quite a positive, happy type of person most of the time, although at some points over the last few years and up until a couple of months ago, if I got grumpy, I got very grumpy, that however has changed hugely recently (the grumpy part).
You may think these are good qualities to have, which in general they are, I love being me :-)
The trouble I have been having recently, which has led to me setting myself a little challenge, is the way other people react to me.
Now, as I said before I love being me and up until a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't really try and change the way I am (me) in anyones company, I'm me, why try to be something else, right ??
This is something I do still believe, something I still try and live by.
But I have noticed, since I began to be more aware of how, I deal with people and people deal with me a few people can't cope with me.
You see a lot of the time and this happens more regularly now, as I become the 'new, better' me. I am too much for people to deal with (their words)
Let me explain, when I am happy, I have this huge ball of excitement, love and general happiness, inside which I struggle to contain, its like I have to impose and share it with everyone and anyone. Methods I have and do use, tend to be constant excitable chatter, singing, dancing, joking, general carrying on, talking (a lot), smiling and laughing (without reason, crazy I know).
Which, just looking at that lists, seems cool, eh ?
Unfortunately, some people can't cope with this (unless they are in the 'mood' for me) and try to dampen my spirit or tell me to stop singing, carrying on, talking so much etc
Which really, really (used to) annoyed me, I couldn't understand, why people would rather bring me down to their level of unhappy, grumpy state of mind, rather than let my happiness and energy raise their day up, even a little.
You'll know what I mean, when you're having a great day, you're in top form and enjoying the moment, when someone will ask you "Why are you so happy?" as if you really need a very special reason to have a smile on your face, that you're gladly sharing with any and everyone. Again this used to drive me nuts, why should I feel the need to explain why I'm smiling or happy ! As I say I would actually allow this to put me in a mood, strange eh !
So over the last week, I decided something must change, I was no longer willing to allow other peoples bad days, make my day worse.
Before I go on, I would like to clear something up.
I do appreciate I can be full, full on at times and not everyone can cope with that, thats not the problem I have, as I usually don't hang about with these kinds of people anyway. The issue I have is with people who love me, being me, but just when it suits their mood, when they're 'up' for it.
These are the ones that (used to) upset me most.
It was a constant guessing game, can I be happy with them today ? Will they tell me to calm down, be quiet ? If I try to be quiet, will they then ask me whats wrong, why amI grumpy ?? When I am in actual fact just trying to keep it all in.
This is what I decided to do about it, so no one has to deal with me, that can't.
After several weeks, realising who does and doesn't like duracell bunny Craig, and who I need to keep myself restrained with. I tested out the new Craig this week, when I was in a super, amazing mood, which as I say, happens more often now, than ever before I make sure I pass this on and share it, with the people who love it, whether this is in person, or by e-mailing, messaging some like minded people and just sharing some witty banter or just send a cool, funny message, thats what I'll do.
Whereas if I'm somewhere or with someone I know isn't 'in the mood' or not going to get anything from my happiness, I am learning to keep it all inside me, all the stupid nonsense, the carry on, the jokes everything.
Which, from the outside looking in, may seem like I have lowered my mood, to suit someone else, but nothing could be further from the truth, it has actually extended my 'happiness' period.
You see inside me, I am bubbling with excitement and happiness, (although outwardly, I'll be quiet and on 'their level') planning who I'm going to share all this love of life and joy with, just as soon as I can, as soon as I can get away from the 'downer' for want of a better word.
As I say I understand people, aren't happy 24/7, I'm certainly not. So I'm willing to let them stay in there 'woe is me' 'I'm having a bad day' 'not in the mood to be cheered up??' mood and I won't try to cheer them up, but more importantly I won't let them bring me down.
So far its working brilliantly and the ones who 'enjoy' me are getting more of me, the ones who don't aren't. Its a no lose situation.
I nearly said everyones happy, but that wouldn't be true now, would it.
As you may or may not know, over the last few months, I have been on the start of a journey, to, hopefully, find my 'purpose' in life. Or at the very least, becoming a better, improved version of the old me.
This is working well so far and I'm already seeing the benefits of my new mindset, plus the rewards of treating other people in a more positive way.
This has led, to me being more aware of how I am in other peoples company, but also how people behave in my company.
Now, if you don't know me, I'll explain a little about my character.
I do tend to be quite a positive, happy type of person most of the time, although at some points over the last few years and up until a couple of months ago, if I got grumpy, I got very grumpy, that however has changed hugely recently (the grumpy part).
You may think these are good qualities to have, which in general they are, I love being me :-)
The trouble I have been having recently, which has led to me setting myself a little challenge, is the way other people react to me.
Now, as I said before I love being me and up until a couple of weeks ago, I wouldn't really try and change the way I am (me) in anyones company, I'm me, why try to be something else, right ??
This is something I do still believe, something I still try and live by.
But I have noticed, since I began to be more aware of how, I deal with people and people deal with me a few people can't cope with me.
You see a lot of the time and this happens more regularly now, as I become the 'new, better' me. I am too much for people to deal with (their words)
Let me explain, when I am happy, I have this huge ball of excitement, love and general happiness, inside which I struggle to contain, its like I have to impose and share it with everyone and anyone. Methods I have and do use, tend to be constant excitable chatter, singing, dancing, joking, general carrying on, talking (a lot), smiling and laughing (without reason, crazy I know).
Which, just looking at that lists, seems cool, eh ?
Unfortunately, some people can't cope with this (unless they are in the 'mood' for me) and try to dampen my spirit or tell me to stop singing, carrying on, talking so much etc
Which really, really (used to) annoyed me, I couldn't understand, why people would rather bring me down to their level of unhappy, grumpy state of mind, rather than let my happiness and energy raise their day up, even a little.
You'll know what I mean, when you're having a great day, you're in top form and enjoying the moment, when someone will ask you "Why are you so happy?" as if you really need a very special reason to have a smile on your face, that you're gladly sharing with any and everyone. Again this used to drive me nuts, why should I feel the need to explain why I'm smiling or happy ! As I say I would actually allow this to put me in a mood, strange eh !
So over the last week, I decided something must change, I was no longer willing to allow other peoples bad days, make my day worse.
Before I go on, I would like to clear something up.
I do appreciate I can be full, full on at times and not everyone can cope with that, thats not the problem I have, as I usually don't hang about with these kinds of people anyway. The issue I have is with people who love me, being me, but just when it suits their mood, when they're 'up' for it.
These are the ones that (used to) upset me most.
It was a constant guessing game, can I be happy with them today ? Will they tell me to calm down, be quiet ? If I try to be quiet, will they then ask me whats wrong, why amI grumpy ?? When I am in actual fact just trying to keep it all in.
This is what I decided to do about it, so no one has to deal with me, that can't.
After several weeks, realising who does and doesn't like duracell bunny Craig, and who I need to keep myself restrained with. I tested out the new Craig this week, when I was in a super, amazing mood, which as I say, happens more often now, than ever before I make sure I pass this on and share it, with the people who love it, whether this is in person, or by e-mailing, messaging some like minded people and just sharing some witty banter or just send a cool, funny message, thats what I'll do.
Whereas if I'm somewhere or with someone I know isn't 'in the mood' or not going to get anything from my happiness, I am learning to keep it all inside me, all the stupid nonsense, the carry on, the jokes everything.
Which, from the outside looking in, may seem like I have lowered my mood, to suit someone else, but nothing could be further from the truth, it has actually extended my 'happiness' period.
You see inside me, I am bubbling with excitement and happiness, (although outwardly, I'll be quiet and on 'their level') planning who I'm going to share all this love of life and joy with, just as soon as I can, as soon as I can get away from the 'downer' for want of a better word.
As I say I understand people, aren't happy 24/7, I'm certainly not. So I'm willing to let them stay in there 'woe is me' 'I'm having a bad day' 'not in the mood to be cheered up??' mood and I won't try to cheer them up, but more importantly I won't let them bring me down.
So far its working brilliantly and the ones who 'enjoy' me are getting more of me, the ones who don't aren't. Its a no lose situation.
I nearly said everyones happy, but that wouldn't be true now, would it.
So I will be carrying on this 'new' method of allowing myself to stay myself, while letting those around me, be whatever they want to be :-)
Last note, to those that think I'm having a go, trust me I'm not. If anyone appreciates how full on I can be at times, its me. I have to be Craig 24 hours a day, everyday.
You get me in small doses, every now and then.
But you know what I have made my life better, just by being in it :-) ha ha
This has probably turned into a slightly mad ramble, but hey ho
I am Craig Lowe, what else would you expect ?
Friday, April 6, 2012
Who is taking the credit, for your results ?
Hi again, Craig Lowe here (You probably know that though)
Todays post could be for YOU, to help you stand up and bask in your own glory, take the plaudits for your hard work, to hopefully help you realise you are awesome.
This particular post isn't aimed at everyone, although I believe everyone has the potential to be truly awesome, in whatever they choose to be.
No, this is aimed at people, who are very close to my heart, those that have been on, or are still on, a fitness, weight loss, health regaining journey etc.
I sadly, have noticed a huge trend recently on facebook, papers, magazines, gyms, flyers etc with a lot these 'top' (mind you some are) personal trainers, nutritionalists, slimming clubs, celebrity endorsed diets and workouts.
Providing, the traditional before and after photos, the promise of losing a clothes size in a month etc.
Look at me, I'm the best, with my unique fat loss, body shape changing, specially designed program, that guarantees the fastest, healthiest way to change your body ever.
In actual fact I am one of these trainers.
And a lot of these people are truly at the top of their field at what they do, but also a lot are a long, long, long way away from providing, correct, healthy guidance too ( basically they just want your money)
The thing with all of the above, is the trend, for the trainers, nutritionalists to take away your glory, your limelight, the fact it is actually YOU who gets these results. Even YOU don't accept the compliments, the 'glory' and say 'yeah ................has really changed my life,' or 'if it wasn't for ................., I'd still be fat, unhealthy, unfit etc'
Well now is the time to realise, YOU'RE the one thats been the biggest influence in your life, yes YOU.
This is the point of this post, to help you realise how good you are.
I personally (after all this blog is I am Craig Lowe) believe too many people who have been through or are still on one of these incredible journeys, following exercise and nutritional guidelines, set out by your Personal Trainer, your Fitness camp, boot camp, fitness magazine, slimming club, diet plan, whoever, whether good or bad, are allowing that personal trainer, that Fitness camp, bootcamp, magazine etc to steal, some, if not all your glory.
Lost ? No idea what I mean ?
Surely if it wasn't for those people, those programs, I would never of reached my goals, or at least be heading towards them, I hear you say.
Yes, that may in fact be true, but unless these people are with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, rather than the 1,2, 3 (or maybe even never) sessions, hours, camps a week, then what you actually need to start realising is these results are actually down to YOU, no one else, just YOU.
YOU'RE the one, who gets up every morning with a drive and determination to keep working towards your goals, YOU'RE the one, making the healthy food choices (I don't know many trainers, fitness camp coaches or nutritionalists, who sit at every meal with their clients and campers) YOU'RE the one getting yourself to those sessions, camps.
Following the program, hopefully designed for YOUR goals.
YOU'RE the one saying no, when offered that slice of cake, that bit of chocolate, the wee drink after work.
This isn't your trainer, saying no, this is YOU
So stand up, take the glory, don't let someone who sees you for maybe 3 hours a week, take all the credit for YOUR results.
Be extremely proud of YOURself, learn to accept the fact YOU have done a truly amazing job.
These are YOUR results, not theirs.
No one stayed with you every second of your journey, no one was with you making those correct choices.
Even if the only exercise you do, is always supervised, whether 1:1 or in group sessions, YOU still need to push your own limits, no one, not even the best trainers in the world can make YOU do anything, yes they will motivate, inspire and guide you. But YOU have to want it.
So be proud, be arrogant (in the best possible sense) accept the plaudits, the compliments, YOU have worked hard enough for them.
This is for YOU
YOU are amazing, never forget that, no one can take away what YOU have achieved, except YOU.
YOU don't belong to anyone, just because you followed their guidelines or programs.
YOU'RE more than just a marketing tool for them, YOU are YOU, the best person anyone can be.
So, when someone asks you, if you've lost weight, or been training, admit it, say 'Yes, I have', 'I have been dedicated, determined, strong, purposeful, faithful (to my plan)' 'I have gave up my old bad habits and choices, everyday I'm working towards my goals' yes ME, I'm the one thats done the work, refused to give up, when it was easier to say yes, I said no, to cakes, chocolate, staying in bed, instead of going to exercise.
I have done extremely well and will continue on this journey. Enjoy being a success, you can be a role model to others, allow people to ask you questions, help people do what you have done.
You are now, an inspiration, don't just pass that off, as someone else's work.
Be proud, stand tall, I for one am in total awe of where you are now, compared to where you were.
You rock !!!!
Unfortunately, there is a downside too, if your not happy with YOUR results, body shape or fitness levels, that is down to YOUR choices too, either wrong trainer, program, food choices etc
That is YOUR decisions too.
Now before every trainer goes off on a rant, this is not knocking what you do, I am a trainer, I use these results to sell myself too, thats not what this post was about.
This is aimed at getting people to be more proud of what they have actually done for themselves.
To realise the dedication, everyday, every choice, every workout, they DO it, not us.
Show them, how to enjoy the plaudits, we all certainly seem to be able to enjoy them, for them !
Thanks for reading
I am Craig Lowe
This is MY blog
Todays post could be for YOU, to help you stand up and bask in your own glory, take the plaudits for your hard work, to hopefully help you realise you are awesome.
This particular post isn't aimed at everyone, although I believe everyone has the potential to be truly awesome, in whatever they choose to be.
No, this is aimed at people, who are very close to my heart, those that have been on, or are still on, a fitness, weight loss, health regaining journey etc.
I sadly, have noticed a huge trend recently on facebook, papers, magazines, gyms, flyers etc with a lot these 'top' (mind you some are) personal trainers, nutritionalists, slimming clubs, celebrity endorsed diets and workouts.
Providing, the traditional before and after photos, the promise of losing a clothes size in a month etc.
Look at me, I'm the best, with my unique fat loss, body shape changing, specially designed program, that guarantees the fastest, healthiest way to change your body ever.
In actual fact I am one of these trainers.
And a lot of these people are truly at the top of their field at what they do, but also a lot are a long, long, long way away from providing, correct, healthy guidance too ( basically they just want your money)
The thing with all of the above, is the trend, for the trainers, nutritionalists to take away your glory, your limelight, the fact it is actually YOU who gets these results. Even YOU don't accept the compliments, the 'glory' and say 'yeah ................has really changed my life,' or 'if it wasn't for ................., I'd still be fat, unhealthy, unfit etc'
Well now is the time to realise, YOU'RE the one thats been the biggest influence in your life, yes YOU.
This is the point of this post, to help you realise how good you are.
I personally (after all this blog is I am Craig Lowe) believe too many people who have been through or are still on one of these incredible journeys, following exercise and nutritional guidelines, set out by your Personal Trainer, your Fitness camp, boot camp, fitness magazine, slimming club, diet plan, whoever, whether good or bad, are allowing that personal trainer, that Fitness camp, bootcamp, magazine etc to steal, some, if not all your glory.
Lost ? No idea what I mean ?
Surely if it wasn't for those people, those programs, I would never of reached my goals, or at least be heading towards them, I hear you say.
Yes, that may in fact be true, but unless these people are with you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, rather than the 1,2, 3 (or maybe even never) sessions, hours, camps a week, then what you actually need to start realising is these results are actually down to YOU, no one else, just YOU.
YOU'RE the one, who gets up every morning with a drive and determination to keep working towards your goals, YOU'RE the one, making the healthy food choices (I don't know many trainers, fitness camp coaches or nutritionalists, who sit at every meal with their clients and campers) YOU'RE the one getting yourself to those sessions, camps.
Following the program, hopefully designed for YOUR goals.
YOU'RE the one saying no, when offered that slice of cake, that bit of chocolate, the wee drink after work.
This isn't your trainer, saying no, this is YOU
So stand up, take the glory, don't let someone who sees you for maybe 3 hours a week, take all the credit for YOUR results.
Be extremely proud of YOURself, learn to accept the fact YOU have done a truly amazing job.
These are YOUR results, not theirs.
No one stayed with you every second of your journey, no one was with you making those correct choices.
Even if the only exercise you do, is always supervised, whether 1:1 or in group sessions, YOU still need to push your own limits, no one, not even the best trainers in the world can make YOU do anything, yes they will motivate, inspire and guide you. But YOU have to want it.
So be proud, be arrogant (in the best possible sense) accept the plaudits, the compliments, YOU have worked hard enough for them.
This is for YOU
YOU are amazing, never forget that, no one can take away what YOU have achieved, except YOU.
YOU don't belong to anyone, just because you followed their guidelines or programs.
YOU'RE more than just a marketing tool for them, YOU are YOU, the best person anyone can be.
So, when someone asks you, if you've lost weight, or been training, admit it, say 'Yes, I have', 'I have been dedicated, determined, strong, purposeful, faithful (to my plan)' 'I have gave up my old bad habits and choices, everyday I'm working towards my goals' yes ME, I'm the one thats done the work, refused to give up, when it was easier to say yes, I said no, to cakes, chocolate, staying in bed, instead of going to exercise.
I have done extremely well and will continue on this journey. Enjoy being a success, you can be a role model to others, allow people to ask you questions, help people do what you have done.
You are now, an inspiration, don't just pass that off, as someone else's work.
Be proud, stand tall, I for one am in total awe of where you are now, compared to where you were.
You rock !!!!
Unfortunately, there is a downside too, if your not happy with YOUR results, body shape or fitness levels, that is down to YOUR choices too, either wrong trainer, program, food choices etc
That is YOUR decisions too.
Now before every trainer goes off on a rant, this is not knocking what you do, I am a trainer, I use these results to sell myself too, thats not what this post was about.
This is aimed at getting people to be more proud of what they have actually done for themselves.
To realise the dedication, everyday, every choice, every workout, they DO it, not us.
Show them, how to enjoy the plaudits, we all certainly seem to be able to enjoy them, for them !
Thanks for reading
I am Craig Lowe
This is MY blog
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