Hey All
Been writing and rewriting this post ( more of a ramble)for a month or so now.
Never seems to come out the way I hope, but then realised I was over thinking it and as long as I write what I want to say, it doesn't matter if someone reads it, or takes it in a different way, if you're not sure ask me ha ha
The main idea of this, is basically an easy, selfish way for me to get things out of my head.
I always feel writing things down, takes them out of my head and puts them elsewhere, even while typing, solutions, for seemed like unpassable problems become clear.
So, I guess the main thing that inspired me to do another post, was people have been asking me if I'm OK, is everything alright ? Mainly due to my lack of social network posts and banter.
(Thanks to those that asked)
Lets start at the beginning, well the beginning of this chapter in my life.
A few months ago, I took the decision to stop hiding from a issue in my life, I had fallen way behind in my mortgage, a few times over last few years, some of which was self inflicted, some due to life circumstances, so I had paid a bit, forgot a bit, hid a bit, borrowed a bit, hid some more, anything really, while waiting for some miracle to appear. Funnily enough, no miracle appeared.
This is when, I decided to just take care of the problem, I phoned the mortgage company and set up a direct debit for six months, paying double mortgage, even though this would leave me properly skint every month, not just normal skint, like most people, but proper skint, every penny had to go on food, gas, electricity, something essential. That was it, no grey areas, no room for manoeuvre, simple as that.
Which to some people would be horrendous, to me, once I had made my mind up, it was, what it was. just get on with it.
So for the last 5 months, I have basically, went to work, trained, luckily I can train at work, went home.
Which, is obviously not great, but to be fair not as bad as it could've been.
I realise a lot of peoples life's were worse than mine, but that doesn't make mine easier and a lot of people were better off than me, but that didn't make my life worse.
Looking back now, I realise I became more of a recluse than I needed to, when people asked if I wanted to go for a few drinks, the cinema, dinner etc, I always refused, simply because I couldn't afford to do anything, where I probably could've arranged something free to do, so still spending time with friends.
During this time, I also took the facebook app off my phone, I realised I spent a lot of time just looking through facebook, for no real reason. I was still on facebook, it just made it more awkward to get on, which is easily, one of the best things I have done.
On of the other reasons, was to help myself learn more about mindfulness (a bit of a buzz word at the moment) letting myself be more in the now, rather than the constant noise in my head, that constant planning, thinking, overthinking, that goes on.
I even, luckily enough attended a well being and mindfulness course (more on that in another post)
During this absence, I had a few friends ask if I was ok, some who know me better, know I go through spells of absence, usually when I am trying to work through things, or when my wee mini black dog appears. I even had some people unfriend me ?
I did find it amazing the different reactions, people have to my situation, some people I thought were friends, dumped me, some people who I saw as acquaintances, stood up and helped, or offered great help/advice/assistance. Guess the old saying, 'you find out who your friends are, in times of trouble' is true.
Some had the, 'just come out, its only a few drinks/dinner etc' when ever penny counts, even a few drinks, is equal to a couple of dinners.
Good things have came out of it, I realise how much money I was wasting on unnecessary things, those cheeky wee coffees, magazines, noticing how much you can save, by buying from different shops etc.
I now, have one more double payment to go, its been an 'interesting' six months, learned a lot, about a lot, some of which I had expected, some totally surprised me, both good and bad.
I take a lot of the good things into 2016, I leave the bad behind (hopefully)
I will be using some of the extra money I will have, this is the way I'm looking at not paying double mortgage, to invest in myself, my life, my future. I, luckily know a lot of people who help others improve all aspects of their life, I will, finally, be putting my money where my mouth is and investing in myself.
I look forward to sharing my journey with you.
Guess that's that ramble over and out of my head ha ha
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas a joyous New Year, spent with those that matter
Bye For Now
Craig
P.S Sorry it's a bit all over the place, (like the writer) its been edited a few times
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